Like a Moose
by The-Stupid-Face
Summary: I don't even know what happens, it's a parody on stereotypes and how characters are portrayed.


Once upon a time, far away in a distant land…In Helsinki, Finland. There was a moose, but not just any moose; the moose was a man.

This is where our story begins.

It was a snowy night because the snow wouldn't fuck off. Sweden and Finland were piss drunk like every other night because they're alcoholics I think.

"Oh my God Sweden, you're so muscular and strong looking." Finland said rubbing the nipples of the Swedish man because apparently Finland is a kawaii desu who likes butt sex.

"O' sh't I'ave a b'ner" Sweden mumbled because apparently he can't speak for his life. His face turned red like the inside of a giant watermelon.

"Your kids are gone, let's get kinky." Finland smirked, gripping Sweden's shirt like a clamp on a car. He dragged the taller man off the sofa and tried to eat his face.

"Oh F'nl'nd, ye're so b'd'ss. I w'nt to s'ck ye're c'ck" Sweden said drunkenly, wrapping his arms around the smaller man and put all his weight onto the Finn, he was so fucking lucky that Finland is strong and badass because oh God the poor man would be crushed.

"What the fuck did you just say you bastard?" Finland glared at the taller man. "Bitch, I will cut you."

"I WANT T'SUCK YE'RE COCK!" Sweden screamed at Finland, deafening his lover. "Now fuck me."

They ran upstairs like a pack of dogs ready to hump the living shit out of each other before jumping onto each other and eating each other's faces.

Finland shoved Sweden away and made him fall on the floor and hit his head. Finland opened the door and began to kick Sweden in the side. "Don't go to sleep you bastard I still need to fuck the shit out of you!" Sweden ignored him and possibly got a broken ribcage.

Finland dragged Sweden into the dark bedroom and chucked him onto the soft bouncy bed that had a bed cover of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Finland had recently become a Brony and kind of overdid the obsession. Finland sat on top of Sweden and they passionately kissed, rubbing their huge yaoi hands all over each other's bodies.

Sweden slipped his hand under Finland's shirt and groped the chub around Finland's waist; he has a thing for chub in this fanfic so yeah…shut up. Anyway, Sweden then removed Finland's ugly fucking jumper and shirt that lingered of vodka because he's a fucking clumsy bastard and revealed his entire chubby torso…Mmmmm…Chub.

Finland moved Sweden's hand to his groin and made him massage it giving Finland awesome feels down there and become hard like a sausage that was left out too long and became stale with a crispy skin.

Finland tore Sweden's black tight shirt that shown off his muscular structure like as though he was a sexier version of those weeping angels because he can be fucking scary as well and appear out of nowhere. He showed his pale smooth chest and abs that would make a 70 year old homophobic become gay. "Wow, you're so sexy without clothing. Seriously dude, you shouldn't wear clothes. It does nothing good for you."

"Finl'nd, if ye're goin'to f'ck me. Y'need to know that it's rare f'me. S'go easy on me.' Sweden turned red and went all blushu blushu and was all kawaii desu which is still fucking scary, he really needs to not be like that, seriously Sweden please.

"Wow, you're such a pussy" Finland laughed, "Well, don't worry. At least you don't sound like a moose in bed." Sweden chuckled and pulled Finland in for a kiss. Finland could feel Sweden's boner in-between his big butt, it was majestic, thick and BIG. "Oh God, that feels awesome. I want you to fuck me so bad. But tonight is not the night."

Finland unbuckled Sweden's belt and unzipped his jeans, giving the Swede's big hard cock some air because it was probably suffocating in there, poor cock. Ripping the trousers off fully, Sweden lay on the bed with only his underwear. "Ye'r turn." Sweden spoke, tugging at Finland's trousers and removing it slowly and licking his hard massive penis!

"Oh yeah, suck it bitch." Finland pulled Sweden's hair towards his groin and made him rub his against his hard on. Sweden opened his mouth like a big whale and engulfed Finland's cock in, sucking and blowing. It made Finland feel like a mother fucking badass, Denmark always bragged about topping Sweden and now Finland was having his chance!

Finland pushed Sweden away from his dick because what's the point in this fanfic if Sweden's just going to suck his cock, seriously? Finland spread the Swede's legs and removed his underwear properly, it was only then he realised that his underwear had prints of chairs and tables. He saw his cock and wanted to suck it off so badly but the stars weren't aligned so no. Finland was about to go yaoi manga on his ass, no literally.

"WAIT!" Sweden shouted, "Ye didn't put'a condom or lube."

Finland wasn't impressed by Sweden's response; he wanted to go bare back on him. Finland moved to his drawer and pulled out his preparation stash. Moments later, he was ready to pound the living shit out of Sweden's ass!

Finland positioned himself like as though it was natural to him, like the days of the Winter Wars or taking a dump in the toilet. Sweden took a deep breath before Finland pushed his cock inside his ass. Getting comfortable, they began their sex. A deep feeling inside Sweden was creeping up from his stomach, he didn't know if he wanted to puke or moan loudly; he chose the second option, since puke wasn't his type of fetish.

This was a bad idea though because the sound that came out of his gob was the most strangest and majestic noise ever.

It was the sound of a moose.

No, seriously.

It sounded just like a horny but dying moose.

Finland didn't know how to react, because seriously, how do you react to a moose orgasm?

It was fucking weird.

Anyway, time to be a douche and completely skip the rest because it's all just Sweden moose orgasm.

Meanwhile in another country, Norway heard a strange moose sound that caused an avalanche and caved him in his house.

Sweden and Finland finished within moments and were really tired because moose orgasms can take a lot of your energy.

They began to cuddle and sleep and drool like the men they are.

The end.

P.s.: Finland finally realised that Denmark lied about topping Sweden when he asked the Dane about having sex with Sweden and got a completely different opinion than his own.

**SLUT.**

**((AN: I am so sorry that you read this. It's a parody, I swear. Mainly mocking stereotypes and how characters are portrayed. Plus I thought it'd be really funny to have Sweden sounding like a moose.))**


End file.
